What makes an healthy relationship : My Conversation with ma big bros

Relationships have had many definations depending on many different contexts but in this very contexts, when we talk about relationships we have in view the emotional chemistry that exist between members of the opposite sex ie. male and female. This write-up in no way undermines LGBT sexualities but emphasies however, one the fact that, in every relationship that there is a YING-YANG relationship.Meaning that it takes two to tango and there is always a male-female force inherent in every force regardless of the physical sex of the parties concerned.

I was with my cousin and her husband recently and when it came to relationship with that treasured woman in my life, several questions were asked and in as much as things have been okay between us and of course, what happens in my family and how we solve them is peculiar to our family, it is worthy of note however that the wisdom of such questions be shared however.


Bros: Do you and madam play at all?

Bros: How una play sef?

Bros: You kinda look strict in  real life but very friendly on social medi, have you and madam met on social media?

Bros: Not to pry but really how do you guys sleep in the bed at night?

Bros: Still not prying (bros na aproko oh!) apart from kids ie. school fees, feeding and oda wahala, what do you guys really talk about.

Bros: You dey try normal on moral calendar but a romantic calendar where una dey?

Bros: When last two of una go out as chairman and babe oh! not husband and wife?

Bros: which name una dey call una sef SEF apart from mummy "This" or Daddy "That"?

Bros: How you dey ask sef when you dey feel like to wanna shine kongo? (Yes! Bros don dey pass hin boundary shey? I tell am Oh!)

Bros: You dey ask am about hin exams if she do am well or how many marks she fit get for the exams wey she do so?

I use style to para seriously, (Like SERIOUSLY) it is not because he was prying which seriously he was any ways, but he was asking pertinent questions that frankly, I and many other "Career-important" guys don't really take into cogniance because the present mantra which is promoted by the media is "Oga!!! Hope say you dey get money?"

Why therefore is this posted one might ask? You don't really value what you have until when you have lost it. Relationship is what makes the world more happy and easier to live and even the holy book says " He who finds a good wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the lord".

what therefore makes an healthy relationship?
Communication
Finances
Temperaments
Sex
Spiritual life
In-laws

Drop your comments and watch out for the encore that tackles many of such concepts in the world of relationships this month.

Recruitment: Come Pie with me

Wow! Happy new year peeps! The year 2014 was filled with so many ups and downs and focus with so many stories. Some people thanked the almighty God for promotion, others offered sacrifices of praise either for a very fortunate transfer to a place where the land is of icourse flowing with milk and honey and finally others who started their foray in the employment market and some were very lucky, through whatever ( God's Luck, Conncetions, Sleeping wif da boss, Payment etc) and sorrowfully many also losy their jobs and fortunately some lost their J.O.B (Just On Borderline wahala)

But come to think of it oh sef! what the hell is recruitment?
To the best of my knowledge oh! ( I stand to be corrected) Recruitment entails availing oneself an oppurtunity to compete for the execution of almost repetitive interrelated job tasks for an organization for some certain rewards at some particular conditions (Biko oh! na angeldharmmy defination be that oh, if you write it in rote exam and you fail, bros/babe you are on your own oh! na as I sabi am oh!)

Therefore, Recruitment is therefore no gain saying but a two way process in which there are two parties talking about a proverbial pie (in which case is the pie) which enatils " Sharing it!" that is : Sharing it, how to share it?, when to share it? what it entails to sharing it? why we want to share it? how sharing it would affect the owner? how sharing it would affect the consumer (employee) and so many other questions like that? Recruitment is simple terms to me therefore means " I like you that is why I invite you to PIE with me"
For me to like you to invite you to share a pie with me in involves several factors. That is: you atr one pie sharer that would bring othet Pie makers to the table. Yes, they might be rivals but inviting you would bring them upclose so as to make them easily accessible and to get their trade secrets and therefore be at an edge, YES! a closing edge, definately, you are a positive gain to my giving you pie ( Return on Investment)

Or maybe, inviting you to pie would mean getting to earmack your taste and leverage on assessing pie.  We both know that the taste of the pudding is in the eating, and also so many works go into the preparation of a really good dish such as ability to buy the right ingridients at the right price and quantity (Procurement/recruitment), picking the right seller if top quality produce (Vendor management/ Recruitment) also preparation of the prerequisite dish to meet prevailing circumstances (Training/Recruitment) and finally serving of the dish for compustation and appraisal (Performance management/Recruitment).
In all, Inviting to pie entails much more than the pie itself, however, it should not be forgoten that it takes two to tango, inviting to pie involves therefore many other issues which includes: 1. the Offer, 2. the considerations 3. the acceptance 4. Other aligned issues.

This discuss is not one sided ie from a human resources perspective but also a call for knowledge on how one view recruitment from his/her "LAYMAN" point of view.

- angel dharmmy
www.angeldharmmy.blogpost.com

Death Machines: The swindling pendulum of life

Sitting down watching discovery world on thursday 8th january 2015 at about 22:00 hours GMT on GOTV, they were showing, death machines. (Ancient Death Machines - YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pSr8fQa9mA)

Isn't it scary to note that with the fusion of physics and biology and so much research, I wonder where they did the research from, they have created many various machines towards entertainmment of feeding the narcissim of human minds.

Such equipments such as the wheel which is the precursor of the enchanting wheel in most amusement parks today and the wooden horse which is also the precursor of the fulcrum by which all tractors and thus agricultural mechinastion are based on today and the pulley system on which the javelin sport is based on today and as  at now they are talking about the bee hive system.

The bee system is now used to clean windows on sky scrappers and so many other isssues.

Now the basis of the discuss is the fact that so many things that started out as good ideas that would bring good to mankind end up becoming issuesd that have caused enough pain to mankind themselves and aso, so many things that started out as being bad end up being the pre cursor of things that have being of immense gain to mankind.

Therefore, I am of the opinion that theories that are propounded can be therefore used as double edged sword which can be used for both good and evil depending on the user and ven the holy book couldn't have expressed it better when it said "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder".

Albert Einstein theory of relativity though it has brought about the advancement of science, it is still not gain saying it is the pre cursor of the atomic bomb and bio bombs on which many lives as been lost.

The argument I therefore put forward is this, Machines are said to be man's creation which are meant to make man's tasks achieved easier, faster and more efficient. If truly that is the case, machines doesn't have to be just physical products, because social media can be said in its own ways to be regarded as machines of socio-economic implication and so is Goverment, Cultism LGBT and its like.

It is therefore pertinent that we analyze various machines that have affected us in our lifetimes and their positive and negative influences in life .
History is thus defined as studying of the past in order to understand the present and forecasting the future.

angeldharmmy

Leviticus 16 v 1: How dare you enter the presence of God shabbily? (1)

For the purpose of this study and subsequent studies, we are using Biblical principles to explain the concept of Business.

The first verse of the passage, God spoke to Moses about Aaron’s two sons who served him shabbily and died.  The highlighted texts are representing important concepts/ people in business and reasons are given why they are so.

God: He is the reason for our existence, he is meant to be loved, adored, worshipped and exalted above any other thing and He is King. He is powerful, yet he is Jealous, he wants to have us to himself, he wants to brag about us. He loves us, knows our strengths and understands our weakness. He knows there are adversaries and he helps us via guides and many other ways surmount whatever obstacles that comes our way.

Who better to fit this description than The Consumers? They are the life blood of the existence of our businesses. They are the reason we are in existence and in business. They want to own us as theirs, they want to connect and identify with our business, and they want to brag about our products or services.

Yet, they can be offended, they can decide to punish us, they would want us to go through different tests of consumer research, adverts and many more just to show how much we adore them.

Take the cue from the Bible; treat the Consumers, fans and Customers as gods and they would work mighty wonders for you.

Moses: He is the Visionary, the person that got tired of the Status Quo, the person that not only saw the problem but went as far as finding a way to solve it. He is the person who made the mistake of solving the problem the wrong way and running away, but later came back to become the deliverer. He also is the delegator of responsibilities. He is a passionate person even to anger, emotional about his quest.

It is no gain-saying that this describes many a CEO who has grown successful businesses from the scratch to become big companies. People like Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (Apple), Aliko Dangote (Dangote Group) Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckberg (Facebook) and many others readily comes to mind. This list is not exhaustive as even younger generations of Entrepreneurs like Seun Osewa (Nairaland) , Jobberman crew just to name of few have risen up to this archetype.

As much as a Business is concerned, the importance of the helmsman cannot be over-emphasized. For every business to grow there must be a visionary, somebody who sees the EXTRA in Extraordinary. He should be able to see Problems as well as see Solutions.  Business is about Relationships and relationships are about Emotions. That is what separates employers from employees, what separates leaders from followers is PASSION. Passion resonate, it creates while employees REACT.

They let others share in their vision as if planting a seed and it grows so big to the extent it can live and sustain itself to the extent that it becomes like a living entity in itself.

It’s there in the Bible, even inspirational biographies of these great people abound.

(Get ready for Part 2)

SOCIAL MEDIA AND YOU.

It’s amazing how convinced I am on the unending and cardinal impact of social media on businesses, both multinationals and Small and Medium Scale Enterprises.

I am not oblivious of its benefits, hence my decision to shine forth its gospel. I have personally experienced the power of this new media to accelerate brand awareness and to spread my stories.

Like the saying goes, seeing is believing. But the tasting is in the eating of the pudding right? You can exhort and preach to the CEO’s and executives about social media’s power and some will “get it”, but until you start to experience it for yourself the flame will not blaze brightly.

Sometimes when I look at the site statistics and Google analytics for my blog from time to time, the global reach that one can achieve with social media never ceases to amaze me. I see that in less than two weeks I started this blog; it has been read in 12 countries and over 1,000 visit and over 2,000 page views each day.

 I don’t know of any other media that could achieve that in less than two years without spending a cent in traditional advertising or marketing.

The Harvard Business Review Analytics Services recently conducted a survey of 2,100 organisations and discovered that 79 per cent are currently using social media channels. They also asked them what they saw as the benefits of social media and here are the results and feedback from the real world.

Twelve major benefits of social media

•Increased awareness of the organisation       – A lot of people know about the company and its services or products.

•Increased traffic to website       – Many more visit the company’s website to get more information.

•Greater favorable perceptions of the brand     – What do you think? Is no more a scary question to ask customers and potentials.

•Able to monitor conversations about the organisation    – Feedback at its best.

•Able to develop targeted marketing activities    – More guided decisions towards customer satisfaction.

•Better understanding of customers’ perceptions of their brand   – What do you know about this brand.

•Improved insights about their target markets – Widen your scope – spread out.

•Identification of positive and negative comments      – Troll management and brand management

•Increase in new business – Opportunities for growth.  Who doesn’t like one.

•Identification of new product or service opportunities   – Can we make butter for the bread too?

•Ability to measure the frequency of the discussion about the brand  – What’s trending about us.

•Early warning of potential product or service issues  – Customer Satisfaction and CSR.

 Let’s pause and let me just ask you this: Are you reaching your audience of loyal fans and influencers? Are you driving them to endorse your brand on their own?

Before you can answer these questions, it’s important to understand who your influencers are and how they differ from each other but first what’s your social media plan and strategy?

Social media is used by businesses to help boost their marketing efforts to meet their overall objectives such as creating massive awareness, sales, customer base, improve customer services, increase loyalty, engage etc.

I have found out that most businesses tend to jump onto social media without having a clear strategy. A new research shows that 72 per cent of businesses that use social media do not have a clear set of goals or a clear strategy for their social media platforms.

 This goes to say that seven out of 10 businesses are using social media without knowing how to fully utilise it. Worst of all, managing social media carelessly may result in some pretty serious backlash.

 Can you imagine the mess?  Let me first put it out there and clarify that a social media strategy is not creating profiles on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Vine and simply gaining fans or followers.

A strategy requires one to go back to the drawing board and start all over with questions like this:

•Where are my audiences spending most of their time on?

•How can I gain their interest and attention

•How can I measure success?

Now here are eight steps to help you plan your social media activity:

•  Build an ark

•Listen and compare

• What’s the point

•Success metrics

•Analyse audience

•What’s your one thing

•Engagement and humanisation

• Channel plan.

Step eight is definitely a must for all businesses. It’s about creating specific plans or tactics for each platform. A single plan would not work on all social media platforms. The first few steps will help you get an idea on where your customers are and give you an idea on where and how you should focus your marketing.

 culled FROM PUNCH MAY 21ST, 2013 BY  CHI TOLA (CHITOLAROBERTS@GMAIL.COM

MARRIAGE MARKET 1: BUYING THE RIGHTFUL PARTNER

Saturdays are very busy days in my part of the world -Lagos, Nigeria. The reason is not far-fetched; there are always different ceremonies to attend, either Weddings, Birthday parties or Burial ceremonies, whatever the ceremonies are, there is usually fanfare in the air.

Last Saturday was one of those interesting but hectic day, Yes! Hectic. A friend was getting married and after buying the usual Ankara (which is usually the ticket to "Je Semo" as we call it.) then we have to be present there. Watching as the whole ceremony unfolds, it got me thinking.

Of Course, my friend during his bachelor days was a handsome dude, he has a good paying job, nice apartment and fortunately a nice little car. To ladies reading this, they would know this is a good recipe for disaster as many a beautiful lady would be falling head over heels to land my friend as "Their Man" and believe me my friend had quite an handful.

Back to what got me thinking in the first place.  "Of all the babes at his disposal, why Oluwakemi (Not real name)?" Frankly there were some of his girlfriends more beautiful than her, some were even more educated, some were richer and more connected socio-economically, but he chose her. I couldn't ask him that day, but I know if I had, he probably would have just said "LOVE !!!" but you and I know that there are so much muscles involved in just raising a finger.

Well since, I couldn't get to ask him, and since I got married sometime last year, I decided to look back and ask myself; what were the things that influenced the selection and decision making process when I decided to get married.

First, I call it the PURCHASE or CHASE STAGE. I have met girls of different shades, but like they say the biggest hunt are deep in the jungle, I have been searching and when i met her, I told her, "Hello, I feel you are the woman i want to spend my life with and I promise you, you wouldn't regret it." She just smiled and laughed it off and walked away, there was this air of mystery around her, but there is also this sense of connection between us, a week later, i got "Ok, let's see how it goes", four years on and the journey is getting longer. My way might not work for you but there is this adage that says" It is not how far, but how well". As much as it's not good to appear cheap for a guy, it is also not right to take long to answer either, like my mother would always say, "Ti a be fi ogbon Odun pi le were, Odun melo a fi se" (If we use 30Years to practice madness, how many years would we use to be actually mad.) How easy was it to make the purchase, Once the process starts getting very cumbersome, people would go to a more easier and simpler version.

Then there is what I call the DELIVERY or DATING STAGE. Getting the “Yes. I will date you." is just a first step, then comes fantasies and how quick were such fantasy realized, or better still, how quickly and easily was the package unwrapped. Just as the ladies have expectations, so do the men. The quicker it is to achieve such fantasies, the easier it is to categorize their partners. Like a girl who is very interested in money and within two days she ask for money and a guy gives her so much immediately, it might send her a wrong signal and she might categorize him as "Maga" and the usual example of girls concerning sex and they label her "olosho" or "whore". Don't get me wrong, it is not a foolproof law, because so many have met under such circumstances and it has led to long and fruitful marriages. It is of a fact that everybody has a role fantasy and the ability to play into your partner's role fantasy would not only help you land him quicker, it would also keep him on leash longer. An adage goes "there is an high tendency that if you keep dangling a carrot in front of the donkey, it might go further than it ever imagined it would."

How long does it take to make the delivery? How difficult is it to unpack and get acquitted to the product?

Following up is what i call the USE or COURTSHIP STAGE. Both might have tried to enjoy some of your fantasies with one another and of course, the pruning process should have started, it is at this stage, that there would be a lot of compares where " technical specifications" and the "User reviews' would be brought to fore.

What is "Technical Specifications" one might ask and isn't it rude to commodify a human being, well  no harm meant. By "Tech Specs" I mean, the partner's credentials, like physical looks, educational qualifications, socio-economic positions and religious ideology and others. The "User Review" is what people feel about your partner, what image is the person projecting?

It is no gain saying that the Technical specifications could be written in glowing colors, where as the User Review rating can be very low, Yoruba's even have an adage for that, they say "Obirin so wa nu, O ni ko ri ori Oko mu waiye"(A lady is of debase character and complains that destiny dealt her a bad hand in marital matters.' Technical Specs" matter a lot as what if your partner was more educated than you or richer than you, what would you do? Would you have to go to study more, or vice versa? Sometimes, the Technical Specs might be low, but if the User Review is high, it’s ok. Has it occurred to you, somehow what your friends, religious leaders and family say do have effects on your choice of spouse? .

Does the Product require training or Expert assistance? How effective is the product's features and functions? Does the product or service deliver far more power or options than required by the user? Is the product easily understandable?

Following up is what I call SUPPLEMENT or ATTACHE STAGE. The pruning has been done, we should be having maybe just two or three candidates left out of the handful we had in the beginning. What is Supplement or Attaché? These are other things, people or clauses that would come with your partner.  There might be some habits, good or bad that your partner have, you would have to ask, can you live or cope with it? Some might be expensive, for example if your partner is a Shopaholic or an Alcoholic, it could be embarrassing socially (Not implying our dear First lady Dame Jona Oh!), it could be people like some friends he or she can't do without, or poor in-laws. it could be health disorder or even some spiritual problems. It could be educational deficiency too.

Yoruba also has another age long adage to back it up " Omo buruku she fe, Ana buruku ni o shey ni" (It's easier to marry a bad wife than to have bad in-laws"

Do you need other products and services to make this product work? if so, how costly are they? how much pain do they cause? How easy are they to obtain?

Following up is what we labeled MAINTAINENCE STAGE. You might have made your choice of your lifelong partner, it is worthy of note to ask yourself “Even if something or somebody is nice, what about the maintenance?”. For Example, Buying a Car is easy but maintenance of fuel, body parts, routine servicing and many more. Concerning your spouse, when you sit down to calculate the maintenance cost, would it suit you? For example, if you choose a career woman as a wife, there is a high tendency that you would have to employ house-helps to do your chores not only that, time both of you would spend with each other would be minimal and your children might grow in the hands of a nanny than a mother. When finally deciding it’s time to tie the knot, checking out the maintenance factor is of utmost importance. Before you finally decide to tie the knot, you need to consciously check out the maintenance factor.

Yorubas say, "Ati gbe iyawo ko soro, oro owo obe lo ni pon." (Marrying a wife is not an arduous task; it is the feeding that should be a cause for concern)

Does the product require external maintenance? How easy is it to maintain and upgrade the product? How costly is the maintenance?

Finally, it is what I christened DISPOSAL STAGE. You might be tempted to ask, if we are talking marriage then how come we are talking about disposal? If we talk about gain, we must also think about the prospect of what happens if we lose. It is no gainsaying that some people would leave our lives and it would seem like they were never there in the first place and one could meet someone for just a few hours and such would leave undeletable marks in our lives. Analysis of what would happened if  our chosen partner decided to dispose of us goes a long way in making it as THE ONE. Many-a-time, people only consider what we stand to gain, when going into a transaction or into such a big decision like marriage but usually they don't take into consideration what they stand to lose if such decision or person is disposed, or even if they end up getting married, how easy or hard it is to dispose the person. For example, for a man who married when he was poor and did court marriage, he is now rich and he decides he want to divorce, the Nigerian court states that, he could either serves 7 years in jail, or forfeit half of his wealth, thats an example of what we are talking about, or if the man have been told by religious clerics that the spouse would be a source of wealth if they are together and he decides not to marry her, what happens?

How easy is it to dispose of the product? Are there issues in disposing of the product safely?

How costly is the disposal?

Watching the toast to the new couple, i smiled. Any girl that makes it to the Altar or could manage to clinch a guy's last name after this gruesome pruning process is worthy to be celebrated in every way possible. So when the MC called on to the audience to come and join the newly wedded couple, you can be sure i danced so hard with my ankara that I was given some wraps of Semo as "take away".

To every lady getting married this Saturday, I say "cheers”. “Na Una gangan dem dey call Good market.”

- Angel dharmmy