Monday, 9 November 2015

Angelic Aproko Diaries: Two fighting - The Big bad wolf

Na jeje we dey for caban yesterday as usual we don go praise papa Godey for church.

We fit no get money toh dey flenjo, we fit neva get porsche and mesarati to dey use buga for facebook and instragram like dem naija celebs sabi to do, but we sha dey grateful for laif say we dey hale and hearty and say we neva go hospitu for now wey some doki dem dey vex unto say dey reduce dem kopa doki money for ebonyi from 130 taaaasaaan to 15 taaaaaasaaaan, befor dos pipu fit use vex and craze forget syringe for pesin bollocks. (Tufia!!) Papa Godey! We thank you oh.

Well sha! We sha don go church, we don com. Na jeje we dey for iya sikira side dey throw small chemical for dia, dey wait make naija start match, make we for watch, na hin we start to dey hia noise for street. Gbege don start and yours truly antenna don set.

Trust your angelic Aproko na, fiam I don fly! My chemical test tube still dey my left hand, I don reach dia kpakpakpa. "Isigini ! Wetin happen! Wetin happen!"

Na Papa Obi ( na papa OOOOOOOOhBeeeeeeeeeee. we dey call am oh, hin tok say we must draw the tyn like okro soup but ngwa! na hin sabi hin packaging sha) and one small married bobo: Okey, wey just pack come area bin get kwanta oh.

As honorable memba of street tribunal, na hin we sha dey cool d two fighting down.

Trust ma guy Saheedi, as hin dey try dey draw d two men make dem no fight, hin don dey weigh dem pocket, money don dey gum hin hand comot for dia, I dey use one side eye look am dey analyze collection (we must sha get payment for our esteemed services - no b me talk am oh)

Unto Papa Obi, "Chairman! How d mata take set?" Hin tok say hin don follow okey tok say if Okey see hin pikin Obi for hin yard make hin send am comot, and say Okey kon meet am for house kon tackle am! Nwganu!! "Tackle you say wetin happen kwa! Papa Obi brain skipp na hin he just start to dey scream dey shout dey do like say hin wan go face Okey but all thru hin dey shout say make people hold am oh! or else hin go beat Okey!

(Chai! Shebi If u wan beat person, Oga u sef leave Hammed, go throw punch for Okey nah! Shebi na ur front hin dey since till now, wetin b shouti shouti for dia)

Ngbo Mr Okey, mata don dey ur domot oh like moimoi, begin peel am dey chop nwagnu!

Okey tok say as hin pack com area young boiz kon greet am for hin flat say bros "Hava anytin for the boiz?" Hin serve dem and dem see Playstation game for hin house, dem begin play, as per say hin get like 3 Flat Screem wey hin hang for wall of hin flat, hin go just go another room dey watch oda tyns leave boiz for palour.

Say na so wan day, hin no sabi Papa Obi oh! Papa Obi just kom hin yard begin scream say hin dey hold the boiz. For hin yard say hin don go report case for police station, one tin do two tins, hin tok say hin rake craze comot for hin body.
Hin say "Shey hin use jazz draw d boi come ni abi hin come pick am for hin domot, if hin get issue wey hin wan address, Nwganu! Address am! No use Police kon dey charass Us for hia.. Say wetin!"

Say na jeje since dat day hin no allow boiz kom hin yard again oh! Ok na for road as hin dey comeback from viewing centre na hin boiz gather meet am say "If mohammed no fit go mountain, make mountain sef kon meet mohammed na" say make him borrow dem the playstation game oh!

Hin say, hin borrow dem, hin kon hia say somehow the game spoil, ok na make boiz gather repair the tin, hin hia say boiz go meet Obi for house say make hin sef join money sebi all of them dey gather play and dey rotate the game for each other house, na hin gbege set with Papa Obi oh.

Papa Obi kon start with hin go call police kon use police arrest him one tin do tisha chike for eye, ese tisha ese tisha. Na dis tyn hin hia as hin kon back na hin go meet Papa Obi for yard tackle am say, "Police ! Police !! Wey you dey tok about since! Unto wetin happen sef! I kill person, I come ur house come rob you? Dat station abi cell you dey shout sef, na Goat dem do am for no be human being?"

Instead make Papa Obi face am tok matter, papa obi leave am for hin dormot enter street kon dey shout, since wen hin dey shout, d police hin neva call! The issue hin neva tackle, throw blow, hin neva throw blow na shout shout hin dey shout since like chicken wey dem cut hin head off kon leave am dey waka!

Nne as yoruba dey tok am "o so simi lenu o fi owo bo" (hin mess for my mouth, use hand cover am).

Okey tok say next old person for yard, Papa Ejiro wan kon settle matter, hin tok say it is rude for okey to come Tackle Papa Obi for house, na hin Okey sef ask am " but it is not rude for him to come and tackle me in my house abi?"

Papa Ejiro sidestep the issue, hin kon tok say if to say Okey na parent, hin go understand wetin Papa Obi dey go thru, na hin Okey sef tok hin don born oh, hin born boi, hin born girl. Papa Ejiro kon tok say den make hin sha beg Papa Obi dey waka go.

People first hala, unto why na!( Well! My guy Saheed still dey waka around dey sample people, dey gum money)

People sha follow Okey tok say make hin dey go house, all this while Papa Obi story don change oh! " See this rude boi! Say u get woman for house kon mean say u na man? Say you don born don mean say u na parent? This boi no reach my mama last born mate na and dt one don born four shiidren! This boi is a destiny destroyer!" Na hin Okey sef form craze " How I destroy destiny na! Oya, wia d police na!"

To cut longer story long sha, dem sha disperse! Me, I just gum Saheed for trouser as we dey go, na me and u today. Immediately Proffesor ( one of our honourable comrade for iya sikira house of assembly) follow us start to dey analyse issue.

"This is a classic case of a mythological arc" (isi gini, mito wetin) "The classic tale of David and Goliath, Big vs Small, Apple computer vs the Big Blue.

(oga Aro issue don dey set b dat, we sef go dey add our own "HMMM" as punchline for the issue na so dem dey do for Pastor u know who and Oga Pato!")

When the big or former feels threatened by a new or younger person and the battle for supremacy comes to fore. There are things one need to use as the smaller party to win the war.

As the smaller or younger guy, u might not have weight or size that big but u have speed and agility. Quicker pace, quicker decision etc.

2. EITHER WAY, YOU STILL GET TO WIN. If he beats you, you would be known as the young fry that tackled the big bad wolf and your courage would be praised. If you win, you would be like a new king in the jungle as you have won the big bad wolf.

Do things that set you apart in such a way that the customers of your product would always find you out wherever you go, its called Brand Loyalty.

(As professor, dey tok to himsef dey think say na us, me and saheedi don dey count our "payment"(side eyes). We try sha, just five taaaaaaaasaaaan, four hundred and one dirty twenty naira... Dt one sef fit buy turari take hold bodi against mosquito for night)

Well, time for ball don reach and I hia say one of those beers don dey give motor, shey na Gulder abi wetin?

Anyways, no vex say ma Aproko took long, na so it suppose be nah, nah aproko we call am, u suppose get the story intoto... Hey no change am to in any other thing oh.

Also, abeg if pipu dey fight and u wan go do LAGOS LOOKA... Please and please, take care of your phones,money and other valuables oh. Boiz like ma guy saheed dey ground oh, na december we dey oh and IGBORO NO SMILE AT ALL

And to d naija police dem, no vex oh, but make una try dey professional at times ehn, no make pipu like Papa obi turn una to Buski dey use fear person, I sha trust the new IG, hin na correct guy

Until another time, na mi

Angelic Aproko,
Buy Garri....
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Sunday, 8 November 2015

The parable of the Yoruba Iro (Rosho modi, Rodi Mo aso, Ki idi sha ti bo ni koko): state of Ogun state Roads

Taking a trip from Lusada to Agbara area of Ogun state, I was glad to have seen that the road was being worked on.

The sight of tractors and trucks of sand and the likes brought smiles to not only my face but also the faces of most commuters that plied the road.

The hardship that people face on that road is nothing to write home about. Sometimes after spending like an hour or more in the Mile 2- Agbara traffic and almost the same on the Agbara - Lusada road, the kind of body ache that caresses one's bones is never a sweet story to tell.

Any ways, I, in my usual inquisitive self, indulged my curious mind by asking who was responsible for the "Reconstruction or Palliative measure" meted upon the road, I was greeted with a Resounding "Oyedepo of Winners".

The commuters in the bus talked about the upcoming SHILOH programme, a flagship programme by the Oyedepo led church winners, hence the reason why the Man of God, deemed it fit to repair the road. How true, I really don't mind.

Some days back, something similar was said about another church, Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), of the LAGOS-IBADAN express way and it sent the social media abuzz. Within the space of a day or two, the Ogun state Government came out to debunk the story of the church's involvement in the road's project and the Ogun State Ministry of Works was accredited for the project. (Hian).

So in anticipation for any next editorial in the mass media that it isn't Winners or other companies around Agbara or somebody but Ogun State Government again.

Hence this piece.

This story reminds me of a story in the Bible when Christians started segregating themselves. Some were saying they were for Apollos and others were saying they were for Peter and another group stated they were for Paul. (Hmm, no be today packaging differentiation and branding don start)

Paul settled the matter in wisdom when he said, "somebody readies the ground and another plants the seed but it is God that let's the sun shine and makes the plant grow."

Not to sound to religious as a Yoruba boy, there is also an adage that says, "Ro aso mo idi, Ro idi mo aso, ki idi sha ti bo ni koko"

I don't know about other commuters but this little I know, if the roads are in good condition, I care less of who gets the praise. Whatever the sinister reasons they have for repairing the road is also not really consequential.

Making the lives of the citizenry a little easier and better is what the government is about. IN MY HUMBLE OPINION, if a company, group or religious body or anybody feels he is touched to better the lots of people around the environs and want to do it as a PERSONAL or CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY, I feel there is no reason people should POLITICIZE everything.

It is those little things that makes the lives of the citizenry easier that we people get to see and cherish. Yes! We might praise the good heart of such a person or Organisation but the truth is, within a few days or weeks we have moved on and we would continue using the utility and give prayers and goodwill.

In our own little ways let us try to "Cover the proverbial Yansh" is all that matters.

Well, I have to go and enter free bus again to Canaan land (Winners Chapel) for my church service today, "not to go and say thank you oh" (that's even if I would be able to get close to the Baba sef)

Till next time.

Its still me.

I am not in anyway attacking the good office of the Government of Ogun State in this piece. Its just my thoughts.

( I cannot come and go to prison oh because den say hin say, Blogger say oh)
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Saturday, 7 November 2015

Shift in Paradigm( I lent a cutlass from my friend)

It's a weekend and I stay on a very fertile land situated along Agbara-Lusada way. Many-a-time I would pay Abokis to help me clear the grass on my land and I have applied those herbicides not once or twice but the grasses just keep growing.

Being a bit free, I decided to try and clear the grass by myself afterall there is nothing wrong with a little exercise and burning off calories.

My quagmire however was the fact that I didn't have any equipment to do that, be it Cutlass, hoe and the like. I decided to go to my neighbour to lend me his Cutlass for me to clear the grass.

He was surprised I didn't have a cutlass at home and asked me what would I use for defence should the men of the night pay me a visit. I told him I have my LEBE (dagger) which is always around in my room.

He told me he uses the cutlass for his protection as an Igbo man concern. I asked him how he takes care of grasses considering he is also facing the same weeds problem. He said he gives money to Abokis to clear his "Yard".

As I started clearing the weeds in my compound, the idea started forming in my mind. What I need to achieve the clearing of my grass (MY UTILITY) was my neighbours Safety Instrument and the Aboki's TOOL FOR MAKING A LIVING.

Why is this important one might ask. So many people are shouting "Bring our 5k" to the government in as much as I am sensitive to the plight of unemployed Nigerians, I believe we can make do with what we have or should I say "DON'T HAVE".

I have noticed that most people that are really unemployed are the Literates, the Educated. The reasons is not however far fetched. This is because they believe once they have the Certificate its all they need and that is really not the way to go.

Look at the men in the transport business, let's take a bus for example, a unemployed man goes to the garage and starts first as maybe a conductor then later borrows a bus on Hire Purchase (from an Owner who might be a Salary Earner) then hustles and pays it off and the bus becomes His and he works hard and gets another and then another and he is established.

I know many a friend that started blogging via buying time in a cybercafe or borrowing a friend's laptop to write articles whereas the owner of the laptop just uses it to watch movies.

How do big businessmen make money? They go to banks and get themselves loans sometimes at steep rates but they don't care. However, from where do the banks get the funds to borrow these businesses?

Ironically, the funds come from those trying to play it safe buy saving money to gain little change on their savings. Like my friend, their Cutlass(money) is a means for safety while to the businessmen the same cutlass is a tool for making money.

This reminds me of the story of the wife of the prophets who went to meet the prophet Elijah in the bible and said that they were broke and hungry. The prophet asked her what she has and she said she has just a SMALL JAR OF OIL.

His first advice is "Go and BORROW JARS" he even added "BORROW NOT A FEW". By the end of the story, the widow had more than enough oil that she sold to pay of her debts and was comfortable to the end of her days with her family.

There is nothing wrong in starting a business via borrowing. Its all about getting things done and sticking to your plans to achieve success.

Those days in school when they used to sing "Borrow borrow make me shine, borrow borrow he no good oh, go buy your own oh"

Now I have changed my mantra, "Borrow borrow make me shine, borrow borrow he good oh, I go borrow your own buy and start my own oh"

Well, I have to go back to back to clearing my grass I would have to return the cutlass back to my Igbo friend you know. He needs his SECURITY.

Angeldharmmy says so

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