Friday, 2 October 2015

You sabi speak ogbonge grammar and so

This is the last time you would be indulging in the idiosyncratic and lackadaisical brohaha, you call an attitude. This is so perilous to the upward migration of this mecurial financial concern."

Na so all of us just dey look as oga boss dey drop voice, nobody talk pekem! Hin just calm down dey watch us as hin dey waka like Idi-Amin wey dey do soja inspection.
" Are you telling me none of you can comprehend all I have vocalized,ineptly rendering my time a quaking period of soliloquy?" We just jejely dey watch as oga turn road warden dey use hand control spiritual traffic oh!. Small time, Akpan just voice out, "Oga, we sabi say u fit to speak english well well oh! But ehm! If you been wan follow us talk, e go better make u jejely bring am down to our level oh, or else na speakin in tongues u dey do so oh and no vex ba... But Baba Ahmed Radio and u go be the same the same for me b dat oh!"

All men just use hand cova mouth, begin dey watch from oga to Akpan, Akpan to Oga, for we mind so, "Akpan don loose hin job b dat oh!" Oga just calm down look so tey, hin just waka go Akpan front just use eye waka hin body from abuja go bayelsa, stroll go borno kon finish waka for lagos. For we mind so ehn! "Akpan! Well done nah! Shebi na your man we go hia say Oga get krokro for yansh abi?"... Oga just hold hin hand begin shake am well well, begin trowey laff.

Na so we seff follow trowey laugh oh, make we for no lost. Nobody sabi why we dey laff oh! We just dey look owaself, use eyes dey ask owasef, "wetin dey make u shine teeth?"

Oga just talk "Akpan! Thank you for pointing that out to me?" The laff just disappear comot we face. As we dey look like person we confused. Na hin Oga talk say hin dey use the talk test all of us ni jere, say hin just learn sonthin about ehm communication for one seminar wey hin go, he wan kon use our head do catering practice.

Na hin oga just turn meeting to quick lecture b dat oh! Hin title hin tyn: U SABI SPEAK OGBONGE ENGLISH AND SO?

Ogaboss yarn gan oh! Hin yarn about we people Senator Oga Pato obiagbon and hin ginger our swagger with anointed fada Gingalious Chris Okotie.

Oga talk say if man sabi speak kon dey drop ogbonge grammar so, its eida make people wey dey hia am, start to dey look like SIMBI - (d way wey we bin d look before like JJC) abi make we just dey shout, dey clap for am kon drop the next verse for am: "mbok! Oga abeg you fit to try explain better?" You see am, something wey u for just talk once leave matter for mathias so, you go kon dey explain am like two or three times. You go waste spit, waste time, waste energy. " Oga: No time to check time abeg" talk am for simple english make all of us understand make we waka go achieve other tyns jere.

Oga talk am join say: Kanipe I wan sell sonthin now ehn to semi illiterate man (Na so hin call am oh, no b me oh) wey get bastard money so, I kon dey speak long long grammar, the man fit no understand my LEXIcon, make hin for no fuckup, hin go just leave me waka comot, and anoda sharp guy go just meet am talk one- two things, hin fit use broken sef, hin go just close deal b dat oh. You think say I dey lie, go Alaba, you go see say dem sell TV pass shoprite, go Computer Village for Otigba for dey drop lyrics like Modenine nah. Olamide badoo sef don talk am, "Street ti take over, punchline ati lyrics o jawo mo"

Oga look us laff, kon talk say hin remember one tym like that wey hin use big big ogbonge grammer talk som kain things for one high profile meeting with one client like that oh. Hin talk say by the time, dem carry dictionary begin analyse evritin wey hin talk down, hin tok say thoughwetin hin mean to talk dey dia oh, wen they join three-four other meaning join am, hin don already know say hin don loose the deal for dia before dem even talk am sef.
Oga boss kon talk say since den na simple sentence hin dey use write proposal or contract oh. Hin tok say the tyn pain am because the deal money carry weight gan oh!

As oga wan continue dey drop points dey go na hin fone ring...green greem as oga look fone, hin just look we hin student talk say " Its Dangote's representative calling me for the consignment, this meeting is hereby adjourned!"

Naso Ogaboss waka go hin office oh.

No vex say my tory dey long small but as you know, na so we see am oh

Na me oh ma people,
Quickest Aproko


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