Monday, 9 November 2015

Angelic Aproko Diaries: Two fighting - The Big bad wolf

Na jeje we dey for caban yesterday as usual we don go praise papa Godey for church.

We fit no get money toh dey flenjo, we fit neva get porsche and mesarati to dey use buga for facebook and instragram like dem naija celebs sabi to do, but we sha dey grateful for laif say we dey hale and hearty and say we neva go hospitu for now wey some doki dem dey vex unto say dey reduce dem kopa doki money for ebonyi from 130 taaaasaaan to 15 taaaaaasaaaan, befor dos pipu fit use vex and craze forget syringe for pesin bollocks. (Tufia!!) Papa Godey! We thank you oh.

Well sha! We sha don go church, we don com. Na jeje we dey for iya sikira side dey throw small chemical for dia, dey wait make naija start match, make we for watch, na hin we start to dey hia noise for street. Gbege don start and yours truly antenna don set.

Trust your angelic Aproko na, fiam I don fly! My chemical test tube still dey my left hand, I don reach dia kpakpakpa. "Isigini ! Wetin happen! Wetin happen!"

Na Papa Obi ( na papa OOOOOOOOhBeeeeeeeeeee. we dey call am oh, hin tok say we must draw the tyn like okro soup but ngwa! na hin sabi hin packaging sha) and one small married bobo: Okey, wey just pack come area bin get kwanta oh.

As honorable memba of street tribunal, na hin we sha dey cool d two fighting down.

Trust ma guy Saheedi, as hin dey try dey draw d two men make dem no fight, hin don dey weigh dem pocket, money don dey gum hin hand comot for dia, I dey use one side eye look am dey analyze collection (we must sha get payment for our esteemed services - no b me talk am oh)

Unto Papa Obi, "Chairman! How d mata take set?" Hin tok say hin don follow okey tok say if Okey see hin pikin Obi for hin yard make hin send am comot, and say Okey kon meet am for house kon tackle am! Nwganu!! "Tackle you say wetin happen kwa! Papa Obi brain skipp na hin he just start to dey scream dey shout dey do like say hin wan go face Okey but all thru hin dey shout say make people hold am oh! or else hin go beat Okey!

(Chai! Shebi If u wan beat person, Oga u sef leave Hammed, go throw punch for Okey nah! Shebi na ur front hin dey since till now, wetin b shouti shouti for dia)

Ngbo Mr Okey, mata don dey ur domot oh like moimoi, begin peel am dey chop nwagnu!

Okey tok say as hin pack com area young boiz kon greet am for hin flat say bros "Hava anytin for the boiz?" Hin serve dem and dem see Playstation game for hin house, dem begin play, as per say hin get like 3 Flat Screem wey hin hang for wall of hin flat, hin go just go another room dey watch oda tyns leave boiz for palour.

Say na so wan day, hin no sabi Papa Obi oh! Papa Obi just kom hin yard begin scream say hin dey hold the boiz. For hin yard say hin don go report case for police station, one tin do two tins, hin tok say hin rake craze comot for hin body.
Hin say "Shey hin use jazz draw d boi come ni abi hin come pick am for hin domot, if hin get issue wey hin wan address, Nwganu! Address am! No use Police kon dey charass Us for hia.. Say wetin!"

Say na jeje since dat day hin no allow boiz kom hin yard again oh! Ok na for road as hin dey comeback from viewing centre na hin boiz gather meet am say "If mohammed no fit go mountain, make mountain sef kon meet mohammed na" say make him borrow dem the playstation game oh!

Hin say, hin borrow dem, hin kon hia say somehow the game spoil, ok na make boiz gather repair the tin, hin hia say boiz go meet Obi for house say make hin sef join money sebi all of them dey gather play and dey rotate the game for each other house, na hin gbege set with Papa Obi oh.

Papa Obi kon start with hin go call police kon use police arrest him one tin do tisha chike for eye, ese tisha ese tisha. Na dis tyn hin hia as hin kon back na hin go meet Papa Obi for yard tackle am say, "Police ! Police !! Wey you dey tok about since! Unto wetin happen sef! I kill person, I come ur house come rob you? Dat station abi cell you dey shout sef, na Goat dem do am for no be human being?"

Instead make Papa Obi face am tok matter, papa obi leave am for hin dormot enter street kon dey shout, since wen hin dey shout, d police hin neva call! The issue hin neva tackle, throw blow, hin neva throw blow na shout shout hin dey shout since like chicken wey dem cut hin head off kon leave am dey waka!

Nne as yoruba dey tok am "o so simi lenu o fi owo bo" (hin mess for my mouth, use hand cover am).

Okey tok say next old person for yard, Papa Ejiro wan kon settle matter, hin tok say it is rude for okey to come Tackle Papa Obi for house, na hin Okey sef ask am " but it is not rude for him to come and tackle me in my house abi?"

Papa Ejiro sidestep the issue, hin kon tok say if to say Okey na parent, hin go understand wetin Papa Obi dey go thru, na hin Okey sef tok hin don born oh, hin born boi, hin born girl. Papa Ejiro kon tok say den make hin sha beg Papa Obi dey waka go.

People first hala, unto why na!( Well! My guy Saheed still dey waka around dey sample people, dey gum money)

People sha follow Okey tok say make hin dey go house, all this while Papa Obi story don change oh! " See this rude boi! Say u get woman for house kon mean say u na man? Say you don born don mean say u na parent? This boi no reach my mama last born mate na and dt one don born four shiidren! This boi is a destiny destroyer!" Na hin Okey sef form craze " How I destroy destiny na! Oya, wia d police na!"

To cut longer story long sha, dem sha disperse! Me, I just gum Saheed for trouser as we dey go, na me and u today. Immediately Proffesor ( one of our honourable comrade for iya sikira house of assembly) follow us start to dey analyse issue.

"This is a classic case of a mythological arc" (isi gini, mito wetin) "The classic tale of David and Goliath, Big vs Small, Apple computer vs the Big Blue.

(oga Aro issue don dey set b dat, we sef go dey add our own "HMMM" as punchline for the issue na so dem dey do for Pastor u know who and Oga Pato!")

When the big or former feels threatened by a new or younger person and the battle for supremacy comes to fore. There are things one need to use as the smaller party to win the war.

1. USE HIS SIZE OR STRENGTHS AGAINST HIM.
As the smaller or younger guy, u might not have weight or size that big but u have speed and agility. Quicker pace, quicker decision etc.

2. EITHER WAY, YOU STILL GET TO WIN. If he beats you, you would be known as the young fry that tackled the big bad wolf and your courage would be praised. If you win, you would be like a new king in the jungle as you have won the big bad wolf.

3. TIMES HAVE CHANGED, YOU LET THE CUSTOMERS COME AFTER YOU NOT THE OTHER WAY.
Do things that set you apart in such a way that the customers of your product would always find you out wherever you go, its called Brand Loyalty.

(As professor, dey tok to himsef dey think say na us, me and saheedi don dey count our "payment"(side eyes). We try sha, just five taaaaaaaasaaaan, four hundred and one dirty twenty naira... Dt one sef fit buy turari take hold bodi against mosquito for night)

Well, time for ball don reach and I hia say one of those beers don dey give motor, shey na Gulder abi wetin?

Anyways, no vex say ma Aproko took long, na so it suppose be nah, nah aproko we call am, u suppose get the story intoto... Hey no change am to in any other thing oh.

Also, abeg if pipu dey fight and u wan go do LAGOS LOOKA... Please and please, take care of your phones,money and other valuables oh. Boiz like ma guy saheed dey ground oh, na december we dey oh and IGBORO NO SMILE AT ALL

And to d naija police dem, no vex oh, but make una try dey professional at times ehn, no make pipu like Papa obi turn una to Buski dey use fear person, I sha trust the new IG, hin na correct guy

Until another time, na mi

Angelic Aproko,
Buy Garri....
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.