Thursday, 8 November 2012
STARTING ALL OVER AGAIN.
Mistakes.... this is a word that sends fear up the spine of people.be it in their
work life or their relationships or even in their handling of various life
depending/defining situations.Some of these mistakes could be repaired and
undone, while some are left permanent and its effects hurtful.
In relationships,bringing back that lost spark that happened either due to
mismanaged words or deeds in the course of relationship leading to cracks that
have brought hurts to hearts involved could be both painful, tiring and
here are some ways i feel one could get over those mistakes and move forward in
our lives and relationships.
ACCEPTANCE: you need to accept that what is the done is done and beating yourself
over the issue is only going to add to you more grieve than you are already
copoing coping with. Yes, the mistake might have created bad consequences not
only for you but for other people, Yes, the mistakes have brought dent or dirt on
your self-esteem.it still doesn't really matter. What has happened has happened.
Also,most people are contented with what I call the BLAME GAME.They do
this trying to pass the blame or fault on somebody else, some expressions like,
"This wouldnt have happened if Ayo had done this.." or " I was thinking Kelvin
would have done it" or "couldn't you have warned me before i did it..." and many
more. These are not ways of accepting the fact that you made a mistake. As much
as BLAME GAME makes it easy to wiggle out of some problems, it doesnt go down
well with the people you tend to blame and in the end, it hurts more people and
feelings than you started with. it also sends out a wrong signal that you cant
take responsibility for your actions which is detrimental to your social
standing. Whatever the gravity of mistake you have done, learn to accept that you
have done it, take responsibility for it and lastly, more importantly, understand
that it has been done, so MOVE AHEAD.
APOLOGY: after the acknowlegment of whatever mistake you might have done and
taking responsibility for such mistakes, the next proper thing to do is to tender
apologies.Truly, human beings are very egostistical and tendering apologies no
matter how small or how masked is pericieved as a sign of weakness, ironically,
this is really not so. There is no gain saying that at the advent of mistakes,
there is at least a party that tend to bear the brunt and the hurt of the
consequence of such mistakes and acknowleging that is very important. Someone
might say, I took a dose of cocaine and then walking down the road,injured
myself, it was a mistake but nobody was hurt except me. Well, that might be your
thought, but you were hurt, people who care about you would be concerned about
your welfare, your colleagues would be concerned about the type of picture you
are potraying outside and in short, the ripples goes far than you
imagine.Learning to say "sorry" goes a long way.Apology tendered not only frees
the mind of hurt and pain but also goes ahead to show that you are considerate
about the feelings of others. It also frees you of guilt that could be eating you
inside all in the name of pride.
ANALYSIS: now that you have given apologies to whever its due, it is pertinent
to understand that you need to analyse what situations led to making such
decisions, why they made such decisions.its better to always recheck whatever
decisions you take and try to reconcile it.